nobullies

Conserve school

Hey I just got back from speaking at a great private boarding school in beautiful northern Wisconsin.  The Conserve school is a boarding school which is about 4 years old.  The facilities are wonderful as is the scenery.  Snow, animals and trees surround lakes, streams and students.  As beautiful as this facility is they still have a bullying issue there.

It almost stands to reason that at a boarding school there would be the same issues as there would be at home with your siblings.  The school houses an international student body and it is similar to living with an extended family.  Not everyone is going to get along with everyone else at all times.  This is understandable, however, when one person or several persons feel picked on relentlessly, called names and "diss'd" continually, that is where bullying becomes an issue.

I had the opportunity to address the entire school on the issue of bullying then did 3 breakout sessions with smaller groups to further discuss bullying.  I found these students to be very mature, social and outgoing as well as intelligent, yet bullying was still an issue.  As I explained to them it is not a socio-economic issue, bullying is found in all strata.

I did my best to empower them with the knowledge that they have the power to put an end to bullying by not allowing it to continue.  When we make it not cool to bully, we will be well on our way to putting a stop to the pain!

I had a great visit, it was a long ride, but well worth the trip.  I look forward to returning again to the picturesque northern tip of Wisconsin.  Meanwhile visit www.youbigbully.com and take the bully survey, sign the guestbook and let me know what you think about this blog...  Til next time.  PEACE

Florida Suicide by police

So many things related to bullying have occurred that I feel I must share my thoughts and feelings concerning them, the latest being the "suicide by police" of a young teenager in Winter Springs, Florida.

     According to Kelli Kennedy, an Associated Press writer, Paul Cavallini, a neighbor is reported to have said about the victim, Christopher Penley, "he was a quiet kid - polite and everything.  He was just a normal teenager." 

     Reportedly friends and investigators say Penley was bullied and emotionally distraught, going to school that day expecting to die.  I wonder if Mr Cavallini had any idea of how prophetic his words were, "just a normal teenager."  I don't know what the  national population of teenagers is, however, as "The Recovering Bully" I do know that everyday over 160,000 children skip school or pretend to be sick so they don't have to attend school because they are afraid of being bullied!

     Children should not be afraid of going to school yet they are because of people like I used to be, a bully.  Society has the belief that bullying is just "kids being kids" or as adults we think that "I went through it and it made me stronger", or that it is just harmless fun.  Harmless fun ends when someone else begins being hurt, emotionally or physically.  In my opinion bullying is any harmful or hurtful act that continues after the recipient says "STOP".  Saying "stop" is not a sign of weakness or a sign that "you just can't take it". It is a signal to those who choose to make fun of others that their target feels the results of being bullied. When the bullying continues, it too often results in tragedies such as we have witnessed at Columbine, CO. or

Red

Lake

reservation, MN and other school tragedies.  In other instances, targets of bullies sometimes take their own lives to end the pressure, to bring "peace" to themselves.  Unfortunately there are no known statistics for what is known as “bullycide”, suicide due to bullying.   

     Bullying has become an international pandemic with no end in sight!  As adults we need to empower our children to say “Stop!”  When they come to us we need to listen and give them sage advice and suggestions to help solve their problems.  As a society we need to finally understand what I have been saying for years in my school assemblies:  “Bullying hurts!  No one deserves to live in pain.”  We must empower our children and each other with the knowledge that we have the power to put an end to bullying;  when we no longer support  bullying by allowing it to go on, when we stop supporting the bully by repeating rumors and name calling,  when we no longer allow bullying to be seen as “cool”, when we learn to celebrate the diversity in people, when we feel empowered to “become a defender of the un-defended” then we will understand that the true power lies within each and everyone of us individually.
    

Bubba sz visit www.youbigbully.com

Trouble in Florida

     Let me tell you about myself first.  I was a bully for a long time in my life, I'm not proud of what I've done and the hurt and pain I've caused other people.  What I am proud of is the hard work I've done to change my life.  I am pro-peace rather than anti-violence, however, this doesn't mean that you should let others walk over you...  I support doing the right thing.

     For a living I travel internationally speaking to schools and interested groups on the subject of personal growth, character building and of course NO BULLYING!  I invite you, the reader, to visit my website, www.youbigbully.com, take your time, look it over, there is much useful information to be found.  I welcome your comments and would appreciate a comment in the guestbook and also ask you to fill out the bully survey form.

     Now about this trouble in Florida....In Pompano Beach it seems there is this youngster...a 5th grader.  He was invited to the principals office for a meeting.  Seems as if he's been in trouble before, so as he walked into the office and saw another student and his mother, he asked if the meeting was about him.  When told that it was, he turned and punched the other child.  It seems the meeting was about the trouble the two kids were having.

     Maybe, I am only supposing this, since the bully child had been in trouble for such activity before, the police were called and this student was arrested and charged with mis-demeanor battery.

     Remember folks, if adults did to adults what kids do to kids, the police would be involved in more and more incidences that we "adults" seem to think is only "Kids being kids".

     Let me know what you think about this and remember to visit www.youbigbully.com.  See you next time,

Bubba